Homeland

I just wanted to share this with yall. I have been on YouTube as usual listening to music. I love the old all male groups like the kingsmen and cathedrals. I came across this song that I have probably heard thousands of times but I actually listened to the words. It just made me feel so much better.

You beckon to my loved one and how my tears did flow

Tho I tried I could not hide how it hurt to see them go

but now I know they left this world and just moved to a better place

And someday you will call me too and I will see them face to face

In that city called Homeland I can hear you calling me

Oh my homeland oh how sweet its going to be just to see you

and to stand up on the shore and oh Ill live there forever more.

I know Carter was my father in law and 90% of the time he drove me crazy. LOL We didn't always see eye to eye on things but he was one of the best people I know. He would give you the shirt off his back if he thought you needed it or even wanted it. Like I have said so many times he was NOT a affectionate man. As a matter of fact I didn't think he even liked me the first few years we were married. Of course you know me that didn't stop me from being "ME". Bradley was sure to tell me often that's how he treats people he likes. If he didn't like you he wouldn't even acknowledge you. LOL He was a strange person. These past few years that they lived here I appreciated him so much. My kids loved him more than I can even explain. Lucas tells me every day that he misses Papaw or says Momma did you know Papaw... It is something new every day. Saturday Lucas and I were cleaning out his room and I came across this sock that was rolled up in a ball with a rubber band around it. I started to undo the rubber band and Lucas was no no. I immediately remembered what it was when he said NO. The last time they spent the night (maybe a week before he got bad) They had tennis rackets and Nana told them they couldn't bring the ball in the house so Papaw rigged this ball up out of a sock. When we went to get them that night they were hitting it everywhere and he was just laughing at them. So after we talked about it for a minute we just sat and cried.

Death is so strange to me. I mean I know he was really sick for a long time but it seemed so sudden to me. I guess cause he fought it for so long when he finally quit fighting it was really fast. I mean he literally took three breaths after he quit struggling. Then he was gone. There was nothing left but a empty shell. I can still see him just laying there in the bed with no life in his body. It was so weird one minute he is there fighting with everything he had then the next nothing. I can not wait until we get to see him again one day. The boys ask me when we will get to see papaw again. I tell them "Soon I hope!"

I know you are thinking why on this earth am I blogging at 1 AM. My answer is I have no clue. I can not sleep. When it first happened it was ok but the past couple times I have went over there things have just really bothered me. It is so strange for him not to be there. Maybe at first I was just used to him being there just in the back room. Now I know he isn't there. Oh well I am going to try to go to bed now. Good night and I am sorry for this blog. It was just what was in my head maybe now that I got it out I can sleep!!! Night Night!!